It's not like I am unable to paint my own nails. I can do it. I'm even pretty good at it, but that whole letting them dry thing gets me every time. Usually, I go to bed after waiting a few hours, but unfortunately, I sleep like a freak with my arms underneath me, and BOOM! Bed sheet textured nails. Other times, I really, really have to pee. Despite all my careful unbuttoning, it happens - nails bearing the battle scars from the never-ending war against wetting yourself.
What can a girl do? Stop sleeping? Nope. Give up wearing pants regardless of the fact that your roommate is home? Maybe, but probably not a popular decision.
Enter nail polish strips. You can buy these all over the place, from various manufactures. I impulse purchased Sally Hansen Salon Effects Nail Polish Strips randomly at Duane Reade in "Gold Rush."
The little box comes with sixteen polish strips in varying sizes, a file with three different sides, an orange stick (not pictured, it got camera shy and hid under the couch), and directions.
They are easy to apply - push down cuticles, shape your nails, buff the tops of your nails using the white side of the provided file, swipe some polish remover to remove oil, choose a strip that fits, stick the sucker on, and file using a different part of the file to remove the giant extra chunk of polish. Make sure the edges are stuck down and you're done. They're dry. You can take all the pee breaks you want while doing your nails. The strips are tacky, and stay "wet" for awhile, so you can take your time. The strips eventually dry once opened, but it's not instant. You don't have to use top coat, but I did...one must maintain a little danger in life.
The colors you can get are mostly tacky patterns, but not all are bad, and there are more conservative offerings. My three year old self was loving the glitter ombre. I felt cool. I felt sparkly. I felt like one of those girls that you enviously stare down on the subway. I kept looking at my nails. All. The. Time.
For the most part, these things are a good deal. They cost less than a manicure at about $9 online (which I assume ranges regionally, as mine were NOT that cheap). They lasted through two trips to the airport, standing in a torrential downpour for two hours while holding luggage, and a weekend in San Diego, where I had an argument over the lyrics to "Part of Your World," showered/washed my hair multiple times, and went to the beach. At the five day mark, I had chipped an edge off one nail, but was too lazy to take them off. Day six, I chipped most of them off at work. The box says they last up to ten days, which may be true, but I didn't try to get there. The remainder came off with nail polish remover, which took some time, partially due to the fact that they were glitter. That being said, I think these things are more difficult to remove than traditional polish because the parts that were still stuck on were really stuck on.
Overall, I like these, and would buy them again. They don't smudge, they don't smell, and they fulfill my penchant for having something stupid and tacky. Most importantly, you can have pretty nails, get to bed at a reasonable time, and keep on wearing pants while doing your nails.