In order to not create unwanted Google searches for my friends, I am giving them pseudonyms.
My friend, we shall call her "Sconnie Nation," was having a bad day (I'm looking at you, Ryan Braun.). We got some drinks, and after talking through her woes, she said the following to me regarding my take on her situation:
"I'm not sure if you should be my role model, or if you seriously need a mentor."
On another note, here is a picture of a giant tomato. I think it also used PEDs.